Be Afraid. Be Slightly Afraid.

Oct 24, 2024

The 1973 made-for-TV horror film Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is the story of a young couple, Sally and Alex, who move into the Victorian mansion they've inherited from Sally's grandmother. Sally unwittingly frees some goblins hiding in the basement, who then try to lure her into their subterranean nightmare world. Channel 9 in New York would often show it as the Sunday afternoon movie when I was growing up, so I saw it many times. Despite sensing I was adding to my own psychological scars, I couldn't change the channel if I'd land on it accidentally. It doesn't end well for the couple, and whispers of "We want your spirit, Sally..." would haunt me for weeks afterward.

Generation X's parents were not, as a whole, as minute-by-minute protective as are today's parents, which is likely why they let us watch Don't Be Afraid of the Dark and Psycho and The Exorcist and Poltergeist and The Shining and Night of the Living Dead without wondering too hard whether it was doing permanent damage. So like other GenX-ers, I spent my fair share of nights with the covers over my head, afraid to peek under the bed. In retrospect, I can see that the continual re-facing of the fear, on purpose, helped shape me into a confident person who could look scary situations in the eye and know I was tough enough to manage them.

I sometimes worry that today, in a culture focused so intently on "safety first," we've inadvertently conveyed the message that kids aren't capable of managing fear, or uncertainty, or emotional or physical discomfort, without our help and protection at every step. But life is full of times when we feel scared or anxious or uncomfortable, and kids need to grow into adults who aren't afraid of the dark.

Halloween can help teach us the difference between things we can manage and stuff that's truly scary. So this weekend is the perfect one to help your kids practice: Just look left and right and you'll find age-appropriate spooky activities. As for managing your own fears: If there are real goblins in your basement, GET OUT NOW! But for the ones ringing your doorbell next Thursday? Word on the street is they love Reese’s.

—Deb